You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
