bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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