i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
