I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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