What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
