May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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