I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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