just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i believe in u and ur pee
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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