are you so shy because you have an std?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
