Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
