my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
