I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
