when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
