you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
