I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
