well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
