Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
