you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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