I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
