Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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