I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
