the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Randomize
