I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
