are you so shy because you have an std?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
