Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
