get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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