Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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