We won't sleep together?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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