11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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