so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
