if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
