Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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