I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
