His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
