I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
