is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
