he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
