Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
