Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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