Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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