We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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