Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
