I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
