if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
birth control should be required to get into college
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
