I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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