xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
