I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
