ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
