i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
