I am puke
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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