Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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