Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
