Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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